What I really want for Mother’s Day

I want to live in a society that values and supports moms every day of the year.

I want moms to be able to make the choices that work for them without having to deal with judgement, shame, inaccurate information, or systemic barriers.

I want a culture of care and compassion for parents in all stages of their journeys. I want moms to know that the gap between expectations and reality isn’t their fault. That becoming a mother is a developmental process that is messy and overwhelming and amazing and hard and transformative and that’s all ok.

I want moms to be routinely offered high-quality mental health services, physical therapy, breastfeeding and nutrition support, companionship, and education. I want the first few weeks and months after birth to been seen as a special time of nurture, healing, and adjustment, not just for the baby but for the mom and the rest of the family as well.

I want caretaking work to be valued and respected for the work that it is, and “time off” to be divided equally between partners. I want moms to have space in their lives to explore and enjoy their interests without guilt.

I want moms to be listened to when they say something isn’t right, when they ask for what they need, and when they share their feelings and experiences.

I want experts and companies to stop exploiting parents’ fears, insecurities and desperation by selling ideas and equipment that are unsafe or unhelpful. I want moms to know that just because something is in a book or worked for someone else, it might not be the right thing for them or their family.

I want a world that acknowledges the many approaches to raising children exist and can be adapted to individual circumstances. A world where moms feel supported in every area of their lives, every day. A world that values moms as full human beings with complex experiences who deserve to have their needs met.

But I also won’t say no to chocolate and a nap.