There, I said it. Boredom is an emotion we don’t talk much about as moms, and yet I’ve felt it many times over the years, and I bet you have too. It can be surprising to find that in the middle of the endless demands on our time and attention, all the challenges, and all the beautiful, sweet rewarding moments, there can also be long stretches of tedium. Care tasks keep you busy without engaging the parts of your brain you may be used to using at work, while pursuing hobbies, or having conversations with other adults. Even when you get the chance to do something more interesting, it can be hard to muster up the focus and attention to be able to participate like you used to. Transitioning from an intellectually stimulating job to caring for a newborn can be a huge adjustment that leaves you feeling like a totally different person.
This is part of the huge identity shift of matrescence that can leave you feeling disoriented, unsure of yourself, scared, and frustrated. Even if you love being with your kids, the repetitive routines of care tasks can lead to a sense of boredom and monotony, as the days may seem to blend together without much variation. It becomes harder to interact with other people the way you used to, and you may feel guilty for not enjoying motherhood more than you do.
In fact, boredom can be a natural response to these sudden and massive changes in your life. Motherhood can be fulfilling, but this is just one aspect of your experience as a person, and taking care of your whole self will also help you to be a better parent. Eventually, you will start to find your own ways of bringing aspects of your old self into your new life and feel more at home there. If you don’t know where to start, here are some ideas:
Scheduled Breaks: Carving out time for oneself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day, can help alleviate boredom. This might involve reading a book, practicing a hobby, or simply taking a walk. Your mental health is just as important as your to-do list.
Social Connections: Building and maintaining social connections with other parents can provide support and reduce feelings of isolation. Joining parenting groups or online communities can be helpful. One option is Untangling Motherhood, a unique virtual program that includes social connections, self-reflection, and accountability for bringing your whole self into your motherhood experience.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and find joy in small moments. Try looking for ways to incorporate bonding and play with your child while doing routine tasks. Accepting that boredom is a normal part of the experience can also reduce feelings of guilt.
Variety in Routine: Introducing variety into the daily routine can make a significant difference. This could involve new activities with the child, such as exploring different parks, attending playgroups, or starting a new family tradition. Even something simple like listening to audiobooks, podcasts, or music throughout the day can help to keep your mind occupied.
Professional Help: If feelings of boredom are accompanied by symptoms of depression or anxiety, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. Mood disorders are the most common complication of the childbearing year. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you think this might be affecting you.
Boredom in motherhood is a normal and common experience. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment and find strategies that can help bring more fulfillment and variety into daily life. Addressing boredom proactively can enhance the overall experience of motherhood, making it more enjoyable and satisfying. You are not alone. Click here to learn more about Untangling Motherhood and other ways I am helping moms like you build the supportive communities they crave.