Newborn sleep is notoriously unpredictable. You will likely hear stories about some babies who slept through the night when they were 3 days old, and others who never slept at all. Chances are, both are exaggerated, but even the same baby can go through times of more and less sleep for reasons that are not always clear. There are many factors that influence infant sleep, from developmental processes to illness to temperament to their sleep environment. It is common for newborns to sleep in many (many, many) short stretches throughout the day and night, frequently waking up for food or comfort. They are making a huge transition from the comfort of the womb to a big world filled with bright lights, loud noises, and unfamiliar sensations like hunger and cold and digestion and the feeling of air on their skin. Also, frequent waking helps to protect their fragile systems and keep everything on track.
One of the factors that affects their sleep is that babies are born without a sense of the day/night cycle or circadian rhythm. We sometimes hear about babies who have their days and nights mixed up, which can be a continuation of the typical pattern that happens in late pregnancy. When a pregnant person is up and active during the day, this can lull the baby to sleep, and when they lie down to rest, the baby becomes more active in the womb. It takes about three months after the birth for infants to start developing their own sleep hormones which can help them feel more sleepy at nighttime and less so during the day. In the meantime, paying attention to the lighting, especially natural light, is an easy way to help encourage that process. For example, opening the curtains or going outside in the morning, dimming the lights in the evening, and keeping light to a minimum during the night.
Babies sleep cycles are also different from those of older children and adults, and they spend a lot of time in active sleep. A baby experiencing active sleep might move their body and head and make noises that many new parents interpret as waking up, which is not always the case. Before rushing over to pick up your baby, it can be helpful to take a pause and see what happens. A baby in active sleep may settle back into a deeper sleep on their own if left undisturbed. If they do start to wake, that will also soon become obvious. If necessary, babies can also be fed during the active sleep phase without needing to be fully awake.
It’s ok for your baby to fall asleep during a feeding or sleep in your arms. Your body is home base for your baby, a safe and familiar place during the transition to life outside the womb. The comforts of breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact with your baby are a safe place for them to relax into sleep, and babies will often sleep longer in your arms than anywhere else. This is normal, and it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with your baby or what you are doing. If your baby isn’t ready to sleep for longer stretches on their own, you can still “practice” laying them in their crib or bassinet once or twice a day and also enjoy some longer contact naps. Don’t be afraid to ask for help so that you can get the rest you need as well. The newborn days can be rough, but as your baby grows you will both start to find your rhythms and get more sleep.
For more personalized tips and suggestions on infant sleep, and any other aspect of life with your new baby, I offer private virtual Ask Me Anything sessions for expectant parents. Book before the end of June 2024 and get 40% off using coupon code HB2ME.